I wish it were that easy. Well, it’s not, but the good news is that there are mindfulness skills that can be used to help ease the pain. “Why me, why now, why my child, why do I deserve this, how did this happen?” Since we’re all human, I’m sure you’ve found yourself asking these questions at one time or another in your own life. Let’s face it, it just plain sucks when this happens. It hurts. It’s confusing…but the upside to all this is that there is hope.
I think if we reframe these types of questions and really believe that what is in our control we can change, and what is not in our control we can’t change, then we’d be a lot better off and able to better cope with tough situations. It’s not about having all of the answers all of the time, or even about being the strongest person in the room all of the time, it’s about recognizing and accepting that life isn’t perfect and bad things happen to good people. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, plain and simple. Sometimes we can’t explain “it,” find a reason why or know how to solve a problem…and that’s okay. There are certain circumstances when that’s all you can do is accept what happened and be hopeful that time will help heal and you’ll soon be guided to better days.
Unfortunately, it’s even worse when there is no closure, no feeling of relief, no end. This type of situation too needs to be acknowledged, processed and eventually a part of your past. Brighter days are ahead, tomorrow is a chance to change your thinking, your attitude and your outlook. Nothing sticks in your head or in your life unless you allow it. It’s not selfish to do things that make you feel better, to learn to let go and to take care of yourself first (before anyone else), so that you can move on, enjoy life and be able to cope with whatever comes your way next.
I leave you with this quote, “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” (Debrah Reber)