I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a brand-new car
So far, I got this hatchback
And everywhere I go, yo I gets laughed at
And when I’m in my car I’m laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
But that’s flat
And do you really wanna know what’s really whack
See I can’t even get a date
So, what do you think of that?
Some of my readers may be all too familiar with these lyrics which come from Skee-Lo’s song called, I Wish. As you read the lyrics you realize he wishes for a lot of different things and admits that he thinks his life is a joke, that if only he had these things, then he would be happy and his life would be perfect. I know it’s a catchy song and it’s fun to sing along, but I do have to disagree with the message itself.
This brings me to the idea of us wishing things were different, wishing things were easier or wishing things didn’t happen the way they did. Well, we do this because this way of thinking is easy, but we need to be aware that it is a maladaptive way of coping with life’s struggles. It is also avoidance in its purest form, which if you’ve read some of my other blog posts, you’ve learned that confronting uncomfortable situations instead of avoiding them is a very important skill that is taught in mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches us to face the truth, face our emotions and accept the facts, instead of avoiding them.
When we avoid we disengage and detach ourselves from reality. We become obsessed with what could have been, we live in the past and choose not to enjoy the present moment. Our faults, mistakes, successes and milestones make us who we are, shape us into the person we want to become and put us back on track when we head down the wrong path. All too often we have our lives all planned out in our heads and assume a smooth ride ahead, and then life happens, struggles happen and we get kicked when we’re already down. Then we start to think that the pain will never pass and that this is how it will always be.
The good news is that we can dance in the rain and smile through the sadness. Emotions, events, pain, happiness and even excitement all pass at some point and soon we’re on to the next, living life to its fullest, in the beautiful and present moment of today.