Want To Be Happy? Slow Down

In 1972, Matthieu Ricard had a promising career in biochemistry, trying to figure out the secrets of E. coli bacteria. A chance encounter with Buddhism led to an about turn, and Ricard has spent the past 40+ years living in the Himalayas, studying mindfulness and happiness. In this free-wheeling discussion at TED Global in October 2014, Ricard talked with journalist and writer Pico Iyer about some of the things they’ve learned over the years, not least the importance of being conscious about mental health and how to spend time meaningfully. An edited version of the conversation, moderated by TED Radio Hour host Guy Raz, follows. First, Pico Iyer on how he became taken with the idea of staying still:

Guy Raz (left), Pico Iyer (center), and Matthieu Ricard (right) discuss mindfulness and the importance of being still at TED Global 2014. Photo by Duncan Davidson/TED.

Pico Iyer: When I was in my twenties, I had this wonderful 25th-floor office in midtown Manhattan, in Rockefeller Center — and I had a really exhilarating life, I thought, writing on world affairs for Time magazine. And it was so exhilarating, I never had a chance to find out if it was really fulfilling me, or if I was happy in a deeper sense, because I was constantly happy in the most superficial kind of way.

And so I left all that behind. I moved to a single room on the back streets of Kyoto, Japan, and now I’m probably the rare journalist who’s never used a cell phone. I live with my wife in a two-room apartment in Japan; I have no car, no bicycle, no media, no TV I can understand. Essentially, no internet. And I still have to support my loved ones as a travel writer and a journalist. It’s only by keeping a distance from the world that I can begin to see its proportions and begin to try to sift the essential from the fleeting. I feel that so many of us now have the sensation of standing about two inches away from this very crowded, noisy, constantly shifting big screen, and that screen is our lives. It’s only by stepping back that we can see what the screen is communicating.

Matthieu, in 1972 you were a molecular geneticist in France. You had just completed your PhD, and you made a life-changing decision to seek a different path. Can you describe your journey?

Matthieu Ricard: I had a fantastic adolescence. My father was a philosopher and my mother is a painter, so all these people, writers and thinkers were coming to our home. I was a musician myself — I met Stravinsky when I was 16 years old. My uncle was an explorer, and I was in the lab with two winners of the Nobel Prize of medicine. You could not wish for better potential for looking either this way or that way at life.

Then when I was 20, I saw some documentaries on all the great Tibetan masters who had fled the Communist invasion of Tibet. And when I saw those faces I thought, “Wow, here is Socrates, St. Francis of Assisi, alive now. I’m going there!” So I just went. And then at one point I thought, “Well, it’s nice to study the cell division of E. coli, but if I could have a little insight on the mechanism of happiness and suffering …” So I retired when I was 26, and I’ve done my post-doc in the Himalayas for 45 years…Follow this link to read the full article: http://ideas.ted.com/want-to-be-happy-slow-down/.

“IT SO OFTEN HAPPENS THAT SOMEBODY SAYS ‘CHANGE YOUR LIFE’ AND YOU REPAINT YOUR CAR RATHER THAN RE-WIRE THE ENGINE.” PICO IYER

 

Article Source: Ideas.Ted.Com 
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Finding Inspiration Inside Yourself

We all look for it, we all use it and we all need it at some time or another, but how do we get it? Inspiration is the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative. Let’s be honest, being inspired feels pretty damn good. We feel charged up and excited when something triggers our creativity. So knowing all of this, why is it that often times we look to external sources and outside ourselves to gain motivation. In this post I’d like to challenge and encourage you to stop looking outside the window for inspiration and start looking into the mirror.

Mindfulness helps you search inside yourself. It’s your mind just being. It’s you paying attention moment-to-moment without judging. You may find that this silences brings some discomfort, but also pay attention to the headspace it brings. It is scary to face your true feelings, thoughts and emotions. It’s not always easy to be honest with yourself. It’s a difficult reality when you realize that what you’re currently doing isn’t working and that you need to change some things. This is not an overnight fix. Getting in touch with yourself is a lifelong journey and it takes work.

If you’re lacking confidence, get it back. If you’re disappointed with the way you’ve been eating, make a change. If there’s something on your mind that you need to get out, share it. But whatever it is, do it mindfully and thoughtfully. Be silent with yourself so you can find the inspiration you’ve been yearning for. Many times we’re so busy searching, hoping and wanting that we skip all of the steps necessary to come to a peaceful and joyful existence. We look to others for opinions and direction and forget that our own opinions and aspirations count for more than we give them credit for. Getting in touch with yourself will ultimately be the driver of your success.

In doing this, nothing seems impossible, your vision becomes clearer and you start living your life to the fullest. Don’t be afraid to create your own path, make mistakes and celebrate your successes. Make time to love and care for yourself so that when you need a little boost you’re the one who helps pick yourself back up. Search inside yourself for strength, passion and acceptance. Motivational speaker Les Brown agrees, he says, “Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”

The only way to get inside your own head is to clear it. Sit in the silence, practice yoga or meditation and be mindful in your everyday tasks. Giving to and helping others reminds us that human connections are what’s really important in life, not things, stuff, money and power. Gratitude will inspire you to do more, be better and rise up to life’s challenges. Let that be your inspiration. Get involved and stay present in your own life. Watch yourself grow and shine with newfound confidence, love and happiness. Focus on what’s important to you. Focus on your goals and aspirations. Learn to look inside for inspiration, and if nothing else, love yourself.

 

Mindfulness For Modern Life

Welcome to 2015, or should I say, life in the fast lane. We live in a world of instant gratification, instant information and learning stuff about people, places and things that we never imagined possible. I think a lot of us would agree that it’s tough these days to keep up with the pace of modern life. Technology is continually invented to save us time, but ironically we use that time to just do more things. Then soon enough we again have no free time and end up rushing through the days even faster. There’s a lot to be gained when we slow down and live in the moment but it’s not always easy. So how do we adjust to both thrive and survive in the chaos of modern day life? My answer suggests mindfulness and turning off and tuning in, even if it’s for a few minutes a day.

When you tune in, assess your level of harmony, energy and stress. Allow yourself to notice if in the present moment you feel in equilibrium or off balance. Set goals for small actions to move toward health, deal with distraction and move away from habitual patterns of negative behavior. Make it a habit to do this each day. You should fight for and protect this time used for disconnecting and allow yourself to simply be. Listening to quiet music and being out in nature are also good options for quieting your mind and checking in with yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the rush and speed of life, but it’s important to remember that there is no finish line and that often times when we try to do it all we find ourselves exhausted and unfulfilled.

Think about how a traffic jam, line at the grocery store or a screaming kid can quickly disturb your peace and make you tense. What if instead we slowed down, accepted annoyances one at a time, made good conversation and smiled in the face of adversity? These are difficult things to do but doing them brings great reward and you might just find you’re a lot happier. I think author Jay Walljasper says it perfectly, “We have quickened the pace of life only to become less patient. We have become more organized but less spontaneous, less joyful. We are better prepared to act on the future but less able to enjoy the present and reflect on the past.”

We all have the chance to slow down, maybe not all the time, but some of the time. We can choose to make small daily changes that will slow us down and bring more peace and calm to our lives. For example, when you’re washing the dishes, turn on some music, feel the water on your hands and enjoy the experience. Be thankful for another new day and be mindful to appreciate the moments that make up the journey.

 

I’ll Be Your Fire When The Lights Go Out

Lyrics from a pop ballad, the song was inspired by the imagery of a destructed city after Armageddon, and how the survivors carry on with their lives, with love being the only thing they can hold onto. Composed as an uplifting track, “Ghosttown” features instrumentation from organ and drums, with minor vocoder effects on Madonna’s vocals, and a big chorus. The second I heard this song I fell in love! I’m not surprised since it’s written and performed by the one and only Madonna. 🙂

Madonna told Rolling Stone that Ghosttown “is kind of looking at the world in a way, seeing civilization collapse around us, for lack of a better word. And at the end of the day, if we run out of oil and we don’t have electricity and we don’t have all the modern conveniences, and we have no phones and computers, all we’re going to have is each other, is humans. And that song’s about recognizing that.”

I love this, the lyrics align with the message I am trying to convey through my blog. It’s about humans interacting and supporting each other, sharing encouragement and love, holding onto hope. It’s simply, mindfulness.

“Things” really don’t matter, sure, we must meet our basic human needs in order to live and survive (food/water/shelter), but the rest is just fluff. It’s like in basketball when a team accumulates a requisite number of fouls, they are bonuses. Things really don’t matter, what matters is how we treat one another, how we teach one another, how we find ways to make each other better, and how we love one another.

Below are just some of the lyrics to give you an idea of why I love this song so much. I also encourage you to take a listen to the video on YouTube. I hope you find it as amazing and uplifting as I do!

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4JhCKrZDTo

When the world gets cold
I’ll be your cover
Let’s just hold
Onto each other
When it all falls, when it all falls down
We’ll be two souls in a ghost town

When it all falls, when it all falls down
I’ll be your fire when the lights go out
When there’s no one, no one else around
We’ll be two souls in a ghost town

Tell me how we got this far
Every man for himself
Everything’s gone to hell
We gotta stay strong, we’re gonna hold on

This world has turned to dust
All we’ve got left is love
Might as well start with us
Singing a new song, something to build on

Attitude is Everything

If you want to be successful you must remember that attitude is as equally important as ability. If you want to be a good person you must remember that character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you. These are important lessons that are often overlooked, simplified or taken too lightly. The people who live life to the fullest and make the most out of each day and moment are those who truly see the beauty in everything and joy through the sadness.

When you live in the present moment with an open mind you are able to quickly validate your emotions and see the light in any situation. When you remove the drama and charge forward with love and gratitude there’s nothing you will not be able to handle. You can either wallow in your own sorrow or embrace life’s ups and downs and keep your head up.

Train your mind to see the good in every situation and you won’t be caught off guard when things don’t go as planned. Strive to inspire people and be the reason they don’t give up. A positive attitude will lead to positive outcomes. I really believe that the difference between a good day and a bad day is attitude.

There is a little difference in people. But that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

You Can’t Live A Positive Life With A Negative Mind

Worry and negativity are a misuse of your imagination. Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative thoughts and people. Negativity is like poison. It distracts you, harms you and kills your energy. People either inspire you or they drain you. I don’t know about you, but I have made the choice in my own life to be around the people who inspire and encourage, and distance myself from those who only bring me down.

The two types of energies we possess are negative and positive energy. The positive energy will make us feel happy, energized, full of life, inspired, motivated, and healthy. While the negative energy on the other hand makes us feel tired, unhappy, sad, depressed, and angry, but the extreme volume of negative energy will create sickness.

Think about what your current style is and how you react to negativity. Do you take it and let people get the best of you, or do you make a conscious choice to remove yourself from the toxicity that negativity breeds? Be honest with yourself. Once you are able to determine where you fall on the spectrum, think about how you want to respond to negativity going forward. Do you or don’t you want to invite it into your life. Decide. Make a choice. And then make it happen.

If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons), then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life.

“Live your life free from fear, judgment, negativity and worry. Have the courage to see the positive in every situation, learn from your mistakes and follow your dreams!” – Alynn Marble

Source: http://www.enlightened-consciousness.com/how-negative-energy-affects-your-life/

The Perfect Plan, The Perfect Life

Does not exist. Perfection, expectations, external pressure, internal pressure, these are all things that can quickly make us unhappy if we allow them to control us. It’s important to always remember you are in the driver seat. You are in control of your own life AND it doesn’t have to be perfect. We all know things happen, surprises catch us off guard and things don’t always go as planned.

People often tease about not having expectations (or having low expectations) because then there won’t be any disappointment when things don’t go their way…maybe they’re right. When we remove the pressure, lower the super high standards and live mindfully we’re able to stay in the present moment and not worry about the past or the future. When we spend our time and mental energy focusing on the past or the future we formulate more stress and create unwarranted feelings of fear and regret.

Sit back, relax and let life happen. You’re still in control because (hopefully) you’re making your own decisions and choices. You’re taking action and making moves, but not trying to control the situation or the outcome. It’s not that you don’t care; it’s that you’re making an effort to live mindfully and let the universe work its magic.

Mindfulness means paying attention to things as they are in any given moment, however they are, rather than as we want them to be. My point exactly, there is no perfect plan or perfect life, imperfection is inevitable, and it’s beautiful.

See more blog posts at www.thesocialbeing721lifestyle.com.

Dream, Dream Big

(Reading time 1-2 minutes)

Kids use their imagination each and every day, and as adults we know how fun and entertaining it can be to play along with them and hear what they have to say. Why is it that once we reach a certain age we stop dreaming big, stop imagining new heights and start refusing to be silly. Why is it that all of a sudden we become serious and fearful of the future. It is because our awareness of reality and the real world sets in, but just because we are more aware does not mean we need to be more scared.

If we could all see the world through the eyes of a child, we would see the magic in everything. I think it is important that we continue to use our imaginations and let our guards down as we age. It is okay to work towards goals, be responsible, have aspirations AND still have fun at the same time. When we open our minds to what could be and remove the rules and limits we put on ourselves life becomes full of new possibilities and wonder.

How can you get started? Try purchasing a cereal you only allowed yourself to eat as a kid, enjoy a Popsicle on the patio, walk around barefoot, go to a local candy shop and indulge, eat ice cream with your kids, watch an old movie you used to enjoy, smile more, be a kid again. See how much fun it is to be a kid again and how it opens your mind to new ideas and sparks your creativity. Enjoy life’s little moments and pleasures. I think you will notice that your dreams get bigger and your laugh a little louder.

Spring is in the air. No better time than now to rejuvenate, renew and live the life you have always dreamed of.

No Apologies

How often do you find yourself apologizing, saying sorry, or feeling guilty about saying no? If you are anything like me you probably say it more often than you should. Why, because we are trained (especially women) to try to be everything and do everything, when in reality that is just not humanly possible or healthy. And feeling ashamed about doing what is best for you definitely is not mindful.  I encourage you to make decisions based on what is best for you and then stick to your decisions with confidence. No regrets.

Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.
-Henry A. Kissinger

It is not only important to learn how to say no, but to say no without feeling like you have to explain yourself. Saying no helps simplify your life and allows you to put yourself first, which is okay. We have limits, limits to our energy, our time and our schedules. If we do not acknowledge these limits we will most likely experience burnout. Burnout happens but it can be avoided with careful consideration. Say yes to the stuff that helps you accomplish your goals, that aligns with your morals and gives you energy, instead of drains it.

Saying YES to happiness means learning to say NO to things and people who stress you out (Thema Davis). You do not have to defend or explain your decisions to anyone. It is your life.

Try it. Live without apologies.

Mindlessness

You know I like to talk about the practice of mindfulness (and how wonderful I think it is!), but what about this concept of mindlessness. Mindlessness is defined by TheFreeDictionary.com as, having no intelligent purpose, meaning, or direction; giving or showing little attention or care. How often do we catch ourselves not paying attention, repeating particular greetings or phrases with no thought or emotion behind the words, reacting with automatic, and almost mechanical-like, responses? When I find myself in this zone I try to stop, bring myself back to the present moment, think, and ask myself, is this how I want to live my life? Or do I want to be more thoughtful, respectful, curious, engaged and mindful?

I’m sure you have found yourself in conversation when all of a sudden it becomes clear to you that the other person is not giving you their full attention. Let’s be honest, they are not listening and not paying attention to you. This can come across to the person on the receiving end as rude and hurtful. Actually, it’s not much fun for either party when this happens.

So think about this the next time you’re the one on the receiving end, out enjoying nature, enjoying a warm cup of coffee, reading a book, out to dinner, or engaging in conversation; are you present, mindful and attentive, or are you automatic, bored, checked out and practicing mindlessness. It’s your choice. I hope you choose to be mindful! 🙂